I believe one of the reasons individuals become victims of romance scams is they do not create boundaries when socializing in the digital world. Everyone you meet on a social site is an unidentified stranger at best.
Educate Yourself About Safe Dating Tips!
Socializing online is easy because we can hide behind email addresses, express ourselves through emojis, and communicate via text. Sure these are the new modern ways, but they are also the tools for online dating scammers.
Victims make the mistake of letting their guards down too quickly because socializing via a smartphone removes dating obstacles. You don't necessarily need to worry about your style, your weight, or hair. You send a photo, and the scammer says everything you want to hear. You look pretty, or I like your eyes. Oh, wait, scammer talk is more like, "You look pretty my darling queen" or "I like your eyes, my lovely darling." Scammers love the word darling.
It is nice when someone compliments us, primarily if we have not heard it in a long time. The thing is, it is your photo Romeo is wooing, not you. The compliments kick all common sense out of your head. Instead of slowing it down, you buy into the scam, which allows the scammer to go big with his personal story. He is a soldier, an engineer, an oil rig operator, or a prominent businessman. He probably told you he is a widower; they love playing the widower.
Boundaries need to come into play. When digital acquaintances begin calling you darling, honey, or my queen, wake the hell up, and ask yourself, have you seen this fool on video yet? If not, guess what? You bought the scam.
There are two ways to avoid a romance scam. The first is immediately request a video conversation. If the person tells you no because of some lame-duck excuse, say goodbye. A good defense against a romance scam is never sending money to a person you met on the internet, aka a stranger. If a person requests money, kick them the hell out of your life.
Note, when you cut off a romance scammer, he will be back. Like a rat, he will find his way into your social media, or on the dating again and will try to scam you again.
Safe dating is smart dating!
A client explained that when she began online dating, she only chatted digitally with the men she encountered. She thought it was safer to SMS, or use WhatsApp, and email. Thinking that avoiding video would protect her identity in case Mr. Wonderful turned out to be not so Mr. Wonderful. Her strategy was a big mistake.
Not moving from digital chatting to video conversation allowed the relationship with the romance scammer to solidify. When she woke in the morning they texted, he would be gone a week or two working on the oil rig. She thought she was involved in a long distance relationship. As I have said dozens of times, an online connection is not a long distance relationship. It is chatting with an unidentified stranger, and nothing more.
The idea of protecting her privacy was so off base because the scammer knew her social media. Other clients have done the same, not wanting to be too forward. You need to get past the privacy myth if you are chatting with a person online. It only takes a small amount of information to find your social sites. Facebook, will reveal more about you than a video or even your wallet.
When online dating it is important to be safe and protect yourself from lunatics and the sorts. However, romance scammer are thieves in the night; you don't see them coming. So, balance your privacy and protection.
Frank M. Ahearn educates victims on romance scams.
He is the author of the New York Times Best Seller How to Disappear.
Email Addresss: ID@Scam.Guru